-bottom-lashes, you basic assholes. Getting mascara on them is like eating glass because it makes your smile look beautiful.
-almost putting on your dark red, long-last, rub-this-shit-off-with-gasoline on perfectly and then you smear it at the last minute.
-buying expensive foundation (that…
ISTJ: The one in denial that there’s actually a killer
ISFJ: The one who calls out “Who’s there?” as if the killer will answer
ESTJ: The one who tries to tell everyone else what to do
ESFJ: The one who screams at everything
ISTP: The one who finds a really good hiding place
INFJ: The one who knows what’s going on but no one will listen to them
Just call me Cassandra. (any other nerds get that?)
|me:||i hate all bears except sun bears|
|me:||especially when they think they're people.|
|me:||thank God i'm married. i could never fill out a dating profile.|
|me:||"turn ons: the footloose soundtrack, peeling off a continuous sheet of skin after a sunburn. turn offs: bears acting like people."|
|whitney:||OH MY KITTENS I JUST GOOGLED SUN BEAR WHAT THE HELL|
|whitney:||if i were of the persuasion, the sun bear would be my #1 reason to deny evolution. only the devil himself could make that.|
|whitney:||devils don't make things.|
|whitney:||this is why i'm not a republican. this type of logic fails me.|
-when you really don’t want to go to the thing
-when you know there is no freakin’ way you are going to be up that early
-when it’s late enough to take a cab, not walk or take the subway
-“Do you have a boyfriend?” “No, I’m just not interested.” In a perfect world, we would be able to do this…
YOU WANT TO GET A PIZZA AFTER THIS?
Yeah, sure. Papa John’s is doing a two-for-one special.
AREN’T THEY ALWAYS?
Kind of. Yes.
NOT MUCH OF A SPECIAL THEN, IS IT?
Good point. Can you hand me the body wash?
NO, BUT I CAN PICK IT UP WITH MY MOUTH AND THEN DROP IT ON YOU.
|me:||i think a sun bear would be a serial murderer. and not a hot one like dexter. a gross one who kills you when he's naked like trinity.|
|lindsey:||i feel like if all bears as people would be serial murderers. the polar bear would be the hot one. the sun bear would be one of those movie killers who are all giggly and spout nonsense|
|me:||no, the polar bear would be the worst of them all. like a dictator that you don't realize is a dictator until it's too late. then, fascism.|
|me:||why the hell are we having this conversation?|
|me:||...don't leave me hanging. i cannot end my day on a conversation about which bear would be the hot serial murderer.|